Seaborn
For Alice
Chapter One
Kassandra
We are
all Thalassogenêis—Seaborn.
All
life began in the Ocean.
The
tides, the salt, the rolling waves
are in
our souls,
and
the sea will always have
the
power to call us home.
—Final
page of a journal by
Michael
Augustus Henderson
The water followed
her home from the library, water in the air
slipping over her skin as if afraid to touch her without permission. The sound
of water played in her ears—a child’s laughter splashing, a creek burbling a
mile down Atlantic Avenue—and the soft rain skipped in her footprints.
Headlights
broke over the hill behind her, and the wet air reacted. The water snapped
flat and reflective on every surface until the car passed.
The
hiss of automobile tires faded into the whisper of rain and, in the distance,
she watched a spray of pinpoint lights, shiny and heavy like mercury on the
leaves that folded over the road.
The
car was gone and the water spoke to her, words that seeped and dribbled into
her head. I will clothe you in mirror, my lady, shield you in ice, become
the crown you already wear.
She
glanced around and walked faster, huddling under her backpack.
“Leave
me alone.”
The rain spat and crackled like angry cellophane, but
warned her of another car approaching—miles away, a shiny black sedan pulling
out of the North Hampton Police Station. She turned and walked backward along
the edge of the road, staring into the dark, her three long brown braids
winding around her throat like a noose. She waited a moment for the car to
appear, biting her lip uncertainly, and then turned away, her sandals flipping
mud behind her.
“The
rain’s watching me, Prax.”
Praxinos,
a voice inside her, answered with a deep thrum in her jaw. Of course it is,
but its motives are rarely complicated. And you are the Wreath-wearer. It will
obey, but you must learn to command.
“It’s
showing me things. I smell its life. The water’s connected.” It’s in my veins.
I am part of it, the water. She pointed to the asphalt’s edge, broken
by the woody knuckles of elms and pines. I can smell an underground river there. She looked away
because she heard the sap coursing through the trees like blood, sticky
snapping insect legs that wanted to crawl to her, capillary roots tugging at
the earth as she passed.
Mud
oozed between her toes and she stepped into the street, hopping to take off her
sandals. The cold rumble of the Piscataqua River six miles away, a hundred
brooks and streams in between, all of them coming into her body through her
bare feet.
Puddles
of rainwater were staring up at her, and she glared back at them.
“Get
away from me.”
She
looked over her shoulder, moving to the roadside—still no sign of the car. When
she turned back, the rain lit up the night for her, a hundred tunnels drawn in
wiry mist, tubes of gauzy moiré. They opened in the air, opening for her,
beckoning, and she knew they all led to the sea. She smelled the salt and mold,
the bitter rotting seawrack, tasted sand and powdery broken shells in her
mouth.
“Just
let me go.” She held in a sob, wringing her braids over one shoulder.
Follow
the paths to the sea. You have so much to learn, my lady.
“I
already know things—things I don’t want to know.”
But
the rain showed her more: what she was and what she had been, sparks of memory
in scrolling frames, fortress walls on the Atlantic’s floor, a woman’s teeth
filed to points, a book with a voice, and the ice-filled bones of an army, two
hundred and forty-thousand strong, wired together and sent to kill the
dangerous girl, the Wreath-wearer—the girl with a soul of abyss-dark and noble
ghosts, the girl made of inferno and restless gasoline.
“Don’t
do this to me.” Her voice changed as it passed her lips. The water in her
breath garbled her words, obeying another power inside her.
She
tried a commanding tone: “I’ll go when I want to!” The words twisted and
softened, warm candy words in her mouth, floating sweet over her tongue.
She
stomped through puddles. Her angry scream coiled into a song that summoned the
tide—and the Atlantic Ocean roared in answer a mile away.
She
tripped in a pothole and the water in the air caught her and kept her from
falling—and the rain tipped the leaves and danced on the asphalt in her wake.
Cursing
under her breath, she ran recklessly, her head down, past an old lichen-covered
wall. The damp between the stones bled to the edges to be near her, condensing
in huddling beads.
She
looked up and blinked, slowing to a walk, and the rain showed her more. Another
set of ghost caves unfolded, spiraling over each other, fading to dim
intestinal coils if she looked hard at them, flaring electric bright every time
she blinked.
“Let
the rain hit me! I don’t care.” She looked away and the superimposed ghost
world pivoted with her, paths shifting to accommodate her, the axis.
The
clouds heard her call; bruised purple and water heavy, they gathered over
coastal New Hampshire. She looked at them through the trees and tossed her
sandals away.
“What
the fuck do you want from me?” And she spat before the water could muddle her
words.
Her
shout broke the storm; falling sheets of water hit the earth, and no reply came
from the clouds, the rivers, the underground streams, the endless hungry
Atlantic Ocean, unable to answer a queen who begged her subjects for direction.
“Pôs eipas?
Epitribeiês! Is this what you want?”
Barefoot,
she stepped into the middle of the road and threw her arms wide; lifting her
open mouth, she drank in the storm. Hot bars of lightning burned the air.
Thunder swept through her bones, the thud of their crash to the earth under her
toes.
Columns
of rain broke through the canopy of pine and maple. Her fingers spread wide and
then closed into fists, and the storm shattered at her feet like a car’s windshield,
beads of rain spiraling into razor-edged water stars that burst in rings of
frost-lace and mist.
The
crinkle of something alive slid up her body, coating her in armor: tight
transparent sleeves, a skin of flexible arctic-blue scales, a collar of ice
blades. Her fist tightened reflexively around the grip of a sword, and a crown
of woven seaweed glowed cold green through her rain-wet brown hair.
She
sang a storm of words, and lightning swaggered through the trees, blasting away
bark. A sixty-foot pine split with a gush of sap, smoke, and vaporized needles;
splinters rained down with the water.
Headlights shot through the hazy night and she lowered
her arms. The sword vanished. The armor disappeared, melting off her body. She
stood alone in the street, soaking wet in a T-shirt and shorts, her backpack
hanging loose off one shoulder.
She
gave the approaching police car an angry squint and turned away, taking rapid
steps along the road’s edge, washed in a pulse of blue light. She kept her head
down because she didn’t want to see the pale outlines of caves in the air,
holding her breath against their salty lure. Before she covered her ears, the
rain urged her to run. Leave everything behind. Run, my lady, run where the
police cannot follow. I will hide you.
“Don’t
talk to me.” She snapped the words into the wet air.
Her
steps slowed, her body shaking, weariness dragging at her. Her backpack slipped
off her shoulder, fell to the ground with a dull splash. Her books and research
papers raced for the pack’s zipper-toothed mouth; a binder spread its wings,
scattering its brood, white sheets of neat handwriting, wet-winged butterflies
briefly alive, folding sullen and colorless in the rain.
She
kept walking.
The
black car rolled forward, the passenger side window sliding into the door.
“You
need a ride, miss? This rain isn’t letting up and it’s a dark road to be
walking alone.”
“A
dark road,” she whispered, and something inside her made all the words but one
drift away, forgotten. “Alone.” She said it aloud, blinking purposefully,
trying to climb out of her head and back into the world. She glanced at the
blue stripes on the shiny black fender as if noticing the car for the first
time.
“The
police are here,” she told the other voices in her head.
A
woman answered snobbishly, Tell the police to go. You do not need their help.
She
blinked, trying to answer, but ended up repeating the rain’s words: “I have so
much to learn.”
“How
much have you had to drink tonight?” The officer again—it sounded like the
police officer, the patrol car rolling to match her pace.
She
bent to look through the open window. Her focus hit him hard, and he choked on
his words; his heart stalled, his soul falling through dark water toward her,
into the abyss of her eyes.
And
the rain whispered, Alone, Lady Kassandra, you must be alone.
Still
looking at the police officer, pinning him to his seat, she answered the rain.
“Silence!”
Then
she plucked the officer’s name right out of his head.
“I have been drinking,
Lieutenant Pannone. I’ve been drinking the rain.”
She
released him and walked away.
Pannone’s
forehead hit the hard plastic of the steering wheel. His heart thumped a wild
rhythm and then evened into a steady rapid beat. He sucked air in desperate
gulps and flexed his numbing fingers, staring out the windows as if he was
lost.
He
fell back in his seat, his uniform damp against his skin. Reality snapped into
place for him. He closed his eyes tight, then opened them, trying to get the
blue arcs and red backlit dials of the dashboard into focus.
A
squeak of wiper blades. He looked up through the windshield and remembered the
young woman with the backpack walking in his headlights in the middle of
Atlantic Avenue.
Pannone
wiped sweat from above his lips. He grabbed a tissue off the visor, wadding it
damply in one fist. He tugged out three more to wipe his forehead and rolled
the car forward to again come alongside her.
“Are
you on medication, miss? You supposed to be? Can I call your parents?” She made
no sign that she heard him, so he went on. “A shrink? Maybe your grandparents?”
She
looked over but didn’t meet his eyes. “My grandfather killed my mother. I’m
going to kill him. He’s expecting it, so I must plan well.”
She
noticed the officer hiding his reaction, and she scowled because it hadn’t been
alarm. It was sympathy.
He
leaned closer. “What’s your name?”
It was
written all over his car, bleeding K’s and S’s, beads of rain lining up, a
thousand Kassandras on the windows, weeping letters on black paint.
She
turned away and covered her eyes, pressing the palms of her hands against her
cheeks, her thumbs digging into the sides of her head. “Do not tell me what to
do!”
Thunder
boomed far away and the voices in her head went quiet.
The
officer let his seatbelt snap away, leaning over the passenger seat, holding
the wheel with his knee, showing her his open hands. “I can take you to a
hospital. Just let me help. You shouldn’t be out here alone.”
She
didn’t hear him, the rain shielding her from the sound of his voice.
She
stopped as if she had run up against something solid in the air, her hands
falling away from her face. Her world collapsed to the stretch of road the
patrol car’s headlights carved out of night, stiflingly small, and she tugged
at her shirt, wet and binding around her throat.
Kassandra
dropped into a runner’s crouch, bending her knees deep, and launched her body
down the edge of the asphalt, an off-the-blocks sprint for the lights’ edge,
her three brown braids streaming like wet rope in her wake. She was through the
headlight horizon and into the dark, rain like needles against her skin, arms
pumping, breathing hard through her teeth.
Pannone
kicked the accelerator, topping forty miles an hour to keep up. He braked hard where
Mill Road crossed Atlantic Avenue, turning into a slide that took him into the
oncoming lane. The young woman collided with a pickup truck at the stop sign.
Pannone
swung his door open, flipped on the side-spots and jumped into the street, not
bothering with his hat or coat.
The
pickup’s driver stared through a rain-blurred sweep of wiper blades, his lips
twitching, knuckles bone white on the wheel.
Officer
Pannone crouched, examining the fender and the street along the driver’s side,
his dark uniform rain-pasted to his skin, water dribbling into his mouth, off
his nose and chin. He kneeled to run his flashlight under the truck. He stepped
back to take in the scene from a wider view, throwing the beam of light on the
street, the wheels, windshield, letting it slide across the truck’s hood.
Right
in the center, the rain softened a muddy footprint. There was no other sign of
her.
He
turned the beam of the flashlight on dark empty Atlantic Avenue. She had
vanished.
Pannone
switched off the light and headed back to his car.
He
slammed the door and dropped it in reverse, accelerating half a mile up
Atlantic, looking for her backpack in the flashing blue. He pulled over and
spent another hour walking, following depressions in the mud and blurry
footprints where she had wandered into the middle of the road.
He
gave up.
The
rain coming through the trees annoyed him, running off the leaves, whispering
his name in his ears, tapping a rhythm that promised to be catchy, but slowed
or doubled unexpectedly, and would not allow itself to be caught.
Chapter Two
Highway 17
I am
an outsider, but I have been so thoroughly drawn inside another world—a most
alien world—that I scarcely know where to begin.
—Opening
line of a journal by
Michael
Augustus Henderson
Corina Lairsey
dived alone on Thursdays.
She
lived thirty miles inland, in Coyote, south of San José, and spent an hour
every morning battling traffic downtown to C-COM—California College of Music.
Every Thursday she cut her afternoon classes to make
time for the Pacific, and so she also drove Highway 17 alone, navigating the
dipping winding double lanes up over the summit and down the west side toward
Monterey Bay.
All
but one of her fingers curled tight around the wheel, the loose one tapped to a
rhythm in her head; a fine stream of tears ran down her cheeks.
She
wiped away her tears, blinking over the steering wheel at a looming bar of red
and white reflective tape, candy-caned across the back doors of a massive
refrigerator truck just ahead of her.
She braked
hard and cut abruptly into the parade of fast-lane hogging compact cars,
glancing in the rearview at the guy flashing his headlights.
The
freighter barreled down the slow lane with its cargo rocking and suspension
creaking, its giant wheels circular blurs of droning gray a foot in the next
lane. The slope steepened and the truck jake-braked with the rumble of an
idling chainsaw that penetrated Corina’s Toyota, mingling with the music in the
other cars, harmonica-saturated gutter folk, boy band harmonies, and thumping
technorhythmia.
Corina didn’t have her music playing, except in her
head.
Almost at the bottom of the Santa Cruz Mountains, she
let her mind slip into replay mode—with accompanying music—watching her
ex-boyfriend’s mouth drop open when she told him goodbye, so long, adiós, don’t call me, ever.
Corina
wasn’t weeping for the loss of Alan Yeater. She was glad to be free of him,
free of another man who had started with flowers, caring, and constant
attention, and ended with control over every detail of her life: where to eat,
who to make friends with, who to drop, what to wear, what not to wear, how much
to weigh, how much make-up, fingernail polish, toothpaste, breakfast, lunch,
dinner...Give me some damn space!
She knew she had to end it when she saw “the look.” He’d
told her to change out of a flirty pink blouse, and she’d laughed and said,
“What are you, my grandmother?” His face had gone rigid, his blue eyes molten,
like opening a little iron door on a furnace, nothing but hot blurry anger
inside.
She
said goodbye, walked away, and kept walking with Alan Yeater screaming at her
back, “No one walks away from me!”
The
tears weren’t for Alan. He’d never really seen who she was, what she was like
inside and out. As if he had some unchanging picture of her in his head, and
any deviation from it was a challenge to his authority.
The
frenetic notes of a Beethoven string quartet coiled and jumped in the
background of her imagination. Her breakup with Alan had taken no longer than
it took two violins, a viola, and cello to get through the second movement of
“Opus 130”—which she’d renamed “The Alan Yeater Breakup Presto.”
She
sniffed back more tears, savoring the same minute and forty-nine seconds of
memory over and over. At least she’d gotten rid of him quickly.
In the final stretch of 17, Corina had to deal with a few
predatory stockcar racers, darting in and out of the lanes, making their own
narrow passages down the shoulders. They taunted her into slaloming to the
interchange. She obliged and would have outraced one of them if there hadn’t
been a blur of black and white in her peripheral vision. She slowed down and
slid into the right lane, letting the patrol car go by.
There
were California Highway Patrol officers who made careers out of Highway 17.
Corina
emerged from the death race with her vehicle and pinkslip intact, and went
south on Route 1 toward Monterey. Half an hour later she pulled off at the
first exit of the old army post, Fort Ord.
The
road had, at one time, curved around to drop drivers at the post’s shooting range. Now
it curved around into a small traffic circle with four roads shooting off in
different directions.
Corina
heard her phone chirping. Alan calling. She leaned into the wheel, grabbed her
phone, and slid it up against her ear. She sucked in a deep breath.
“Yup?”
There
was a long pride-swallowing pause. “It’s me.” His voice was rough, hitching in
his throat.
Her
mind jumped right to: He isn’t crying, is he? She killed the question, and her lips went
tight with the effort to keep them shut. It’s over. Make him do the talking. She pulled up to
the curb, stopping in the darkness under the overpass. The shifter knob
vibrated in her hand. She dropped the car out of gear, but left the engine
running.
Alan
drew in a long breath. “It’s me, babe.”
She sniffed and shook her head, annoyed. Already said that.
“Look...I’m...”
Alan’s voice smoothed out. “You going to say anything?”
“I was
pretty clear the day before yesterday.”
She
felt a drop in the temperature over the phone.
Alan’s
voice thinned to a knife’s edge. “Are you seeing someone else?”
Else?
That implies that I’m still seeing you. Corina stopped her grinding molars before
they crumbled in her mouth. Seeing someone else...She ducked to her side mirror as
a couple in a minivan passed her. “Two, actually.”
He
choked. “So, this is it?”
It
ended two days ago. “What more do you need me to say?”
“Fuck
you! I don’t need you to—” He fumed and spit more words out. “You need me. You hear
me? Crawl back to me, stupid whore, begging me! You need—”
“Save
your saliva.”
She
powered off her phone, took a deep breath, and stared back at herself in the
rearview mirror, her brown eyes fixed with purpose. No more tears. No
asking how she got herself into these relationships. Nothing blurry,
overemotional, nothing out of control.
“Proud
of you,” she whispered and her voice broke.
A
couple cars passed her, entered the loop, and headed south toward the
university. Old army posts never die—they’re turned into parks and unique
leasing opportunities like the Presidio of San Fran or, like Ord, schools.
Corina
kicked in the clutch, put the car in gear, and took the northbound road. She
passed ancient barracks and clapboard warehouses, all painted tan with big
black numbers stenciled on the corners. Most were abandoned and had sat there
peeling in the salt air and sun for decades. Cal State Monterey took up a large
chunk of property at the other end of the post.
She
turned onto a small road that swung back under the freeway toward the dunes and
the bay beyond, pulling over at the end of a broken concrete pad, crunching
mats of iceplant under her tires. She tucked her car up against a group of
squat cypress trees.
She
got out, stuffed her keys, rings and driver’s license into a watertight pouch,
and then she unbuttoned, unzipped, and stripped off her clothes.
Corina
opened the door to the back and tossed her skirt, blouse, and bra across the
cello case that shared the backseat with her dive gear. She squirmed into her
wetsuit, black neoprene tubing that fit her body like another skin, tucking in
her hair, snapping the black foamy material of the hood around her cheeks and
chin.
Then
she squatted and wriggled like a wet cat, getting used to the suit’s squeeze on
her neck and thighs. She fixed the seams along her arms and straightened her
spine, reaching into the air, lifting her body on the balls of her feet, her
calf muscles flexing until they burned.
She
hauled her dive gear up the path that led to the endless Pacific, stopping at
the crest to take it all in, the crash of surf, smooth blue folds at the
horizon catching the sun in broken metal glimmers, a drawer full of wobbling
teaspoons tossed over the bay’s surface.
“I
need you like I’ve never needed anyone.”
She
spoke the lie in a reassuring whisper even as the teeth in her mind, the hunger
in her soul, fed on memories of shattered glass and steel wrung like a rag, a
slick of oil and blood, brakelight fragments like wicked witch fingernails
poking through the asphalt, through the oil, through the blood. And in her
memories, she fell to the street and never got up, the rumble of cars coming
into her skin through the warm tar surface, through her jaw, into her head; her
tears pooled in the corner of her mouth, and time stopped there, a fluid that
filled every yesterday, a moment long past that still rang in her ears.
She
blinked at the California sun and saw her mother’s hair squeezed between the
seat and headrest in front of her, the tick tick tick of the left turn
signal—and her sister’s cold hospital voice interrogating her. “Why did you live when Mom and
Dad died? What makes you so special?”
Corina
had survived, dragged by firefighters from the backseat crush of metal and
folded bones. Her mother and her father were dead in their seats.
Corina
Lairsey cut off a whimper, but couldn’t hold in her tears. They rolled from her
eyes, falling down her wetsuit, soaked up by the sand—and she pushed the volume
of the music in her head up to drown the endless-moment ringing. The music in
her head—the only thing that softened the memory of her mother’s sharp intake
of breath just before impact.
The
Pacific whispered loudly and Corina dragged her gear to the edge, another
Thursday walking into the cold blue, and even when a part of her didn’t want it
to, it let her go every week.
She
squinted at the sun. Smiling at a seagull, she wiped the tears away with the
back of her hand, and slid the mask on, propping it on her forehead. The waves
called to her and promised not to let her fall.
The
Pacific was eternal. The ocean would always be there to hold her tight and make
her whole, something the air just could not do.
Chapter Three
Fast
Who are they, O pensive Graces,
—For I dream’d they wore your forms—
Who on shores and sea-wash’d places
Scoop the shelves and fret the storms?
Who, when ships are that way tending,
Troop across the flushing sands.
To all reefs and narrows wending,
With blown tresses, and with beckoning hands?
—“The New Sirens,” Matthew Arnold
“Fast attack
submarine.” Kassandra whispered the three words as if they were her favorites, running her fingers along the slick acoustic
cladding of the sail—the tall fin-shaped tower sticking out of the top of the
sub.
“This is the most beautiful machine I have ever seen.”
Her
own words echoed in her head, and under her breath, she relayed a description
of the marvelous submarine to the others inside her soul.
Kassandra had made her way several miles up the coast of
New Hampshire to the mouth of the Piscataqua River, kicking against the current
until she found the Naval Shipyard on the far bank. Not far. After all, her
father and her bodyguard, Zypheria, told her to stay close to home.
There
were two submarines in the water, one with a maintenance rack over the bell at
the bow, and ropes and umbilicals running from the boat to the cleats or into
the big gray utility sheds. She found two more subs in drydock, but settled on
exploring one tied up at the pier.
The
water from the Piscataqua dribbled from Kassandra’s braids, down her back and
off the rounded hull. She squatted and looked down the black sloping length of
the boat, leaning against her sheathed sword, using it to keep her balance.
“Fast.” She stood and took ten even steps toward the
sub’s stern, trying to measure its length. “Attack.” She lifted her sword in
its scabbard, tapping the steel cables running from the sail to the dock above
her. “Submarine.”
She
heard the approaching footsteps of one of the Shore Patrol, but she didn’t run,
just glanced over her shoulder at the dark river to see that her path of
retreat was clear. The Navy and Coast Guard ran patrol boats along the
Piscataqua, and she didn’t want one racing up behind her without knowing about
it. She turned a little to face the patrolman on the edge of the dock above
her.
“He’s
cute,” she breathed the words to herself.
The
patrolman looked to be in his twenties, with stubbly blond hair and vigilant
eyes that shifted along the docks and submarine maintenance buildings.
Kassandra’s gaze followed the earpiece that stuck out a little over his cheek,
then dropped along his shoulder with some stripes, insignia she didn’t
understand, down to his waist where a handgun was holstered. His focus had
moved to the river, but well over her head. He didn’t appear to notice her,
invisible in a tight blue long sleeved shirt and shorts, standing motionless
ten meters astern of the sail.
She
cleared her throat politely.
The
patrolman’s gaze dropped, and he swung one hand up into a boxer’s guard
position. The other unsnapped the holster strap.
“Who
are you?”
Kassandra
pointed at her feet with her sword. “How many crewmen does it take to run one
of these?”
He
blinked at her as if he had trouble seeing her. There was a young woman
standing on the submarine below.
He
shook his head. “Uh...I mean...Over a hundred and forty officers and enlisted.
What are you doing here? How did you get past the gate?”
She
jabbed a thumb over her shoulder to the river behind her. “I came from the
water. What kind of weaponry?” She used her sword to indicate the length of the
boat. “I see vertical launch tubes. Those are for torpedoes? I’ve done
research, but there’s still a lot I don’t know. What can a torpedo—one of the
MKs—do in terms of damage against stone battlements, let’s say twenty feet
thick? How deep can they go? Deeper than the submarine? What about mines? Does
this sub carry them?”
The
patrolman looked increasingly concerned. Was she waving a sword around? “You
can’t...Does your dad work here?”
Kassandra
huffed at his inability to answer her questions. Maybe he didn’t know. She
moved on. “How fast is fast? When you call this a fast attack submarine, are
you talking thirty knots or a hundred and thirty?”
He
spoke into his comm gear, his right hand slipping into the holster for his gun.
“Patrol? I need back up at river five. Unauthorized—”
Kassandra
sighed, and without another word, turned, tucked her sword against her side,
and dove off the sub into the black green water of the Piscataqua, barely
leaving a swirl in the surface to mark her passage.
By the
time the harbor patrol boat roared up, she was out past 2KR, the red buoy at
the Portsmouth Harbor entrance, marking the separation of the river and the
Atlantic.
Chapter Four
Free Diving
I know human lungs have never been capable of operating efficiently with so thick a medium as seawater. They have evolved over millennia for breathing air in a relatively narrow range of surface pressures. The human fetus does not breathe amniotic fluid, but receives all the necessary nutrients and oxygen through the placenta from the mother.
—From
a journal by
Michael
Augustus Henderson
The Pacific
slipped up Corina’s legs, cold and clinging, circling her waist, the water
sensing the warm life under her wetsuit, nimbly prying at the seams, seeping
through the material to chill her skin.
She
pushed the mask against her face, fitting it over her cheeks and forehead.
Without pause or fear, she walked into the monstrous waves of ocean thundering
against the beach.
Violent
water swallowed her; there was a roar in her ears, a rush of ice over her body,
then silence. She was under, inside the storm, inside the other world that
folded over the surface of the world that didn’t want her.
Then
she weighed nothing.
She
drew a breath, wet and loud in her ears, a gush of salt in her mouth, metallic
and bitter.
She
kicked hard, following the smooth sandy slope until the rocks broke it up,
edging away from the floor, into open sea.
Corina
was a hundred meters from shore when something in the endless blue hit her in
the back, almost playfully. She kicked and paddled, turning much too slowly,
her movements clumsy and heavy like an astronaut on a spacewalk. She spun,
looking for the cause, a shadow that moved just beyond her peripheral vision.
She was alone, but something not made of seawater had bumped forcefully into
her tanks, something alive, with the weight and mischievous power of a sea
lion. She sucked in a shallow breath, biting into her mouthpiece. Her skin went
colder under her suit. Sharks bumped potential prey before devouring them. She
paddled one more time around.
There
was nothing there.
Her
eyes moved in small left-to-right shifts, trying to pick up anything solid out
of the wide space of water, dropping to her fins to focus on anything beyond
them. The sloping floor of sand and rock darkened as it angled away from the
shoreline, velvety blue fading into black.
She
thumbed on her dive lights, one dangling from her wrist, the other on a strap
over her left shoulder.
The
Pacific’s surge lifted her gently, and she watched and waited. Enough. She threw her
hands over her head and kicked, a reflex, a reaction to tiny changes in the
ocean her body somehow picked up without having any exposed skin. There was
something in the water with her. She just couldn’t see it.
Then
it touched her, poked her in the shoulder. She kicked away, spinning right, too
slowly, and it anticipated her direction; it hooked her arms and jerked her
back, tugging on the hoses, nearly ripping the regulator from her mouth. Her
feet flipped out in front of her. The skin along her neck tightened, and she scooped
the water, twirling to catch a glimpse of whatever it was.
Nothing
there.
A
chill ran through her, and she slid her hands over her wetsuit as if to wipe
something off.
Her
eyes stung trying to focus on anything out of the infinite gloom. She looked up
and kicked. Her intuition—the combined prickling, wrenching, and screaming of
several major organs at once—told her: Get the fuck out of here! Surface. Get to
the surface!
She
kicked hard, her breathing loud in her ears. She pushed her body toward the light,
her mind racing with questions, twisting her thoughts into knots, strings of
words circling around and repeating themselves, mostly variations on What the hell is that?
She didn’t have any immediate answers, and the ones
lurking at the edges scared her too much to state them clearly.
Corina
jerked her hands back as a colder current pushed over her gloves. She slowed
for half a second, stunned, and then kicked again. Her body slammed into
something solid but invisible in the water, jarring her teeth. She grunted over
her reg. Her mask hammered into her face. Seawater squeezed in, pooling around
her nose. She slid upside down and the saltwater blinded her. Her legs swung
over her head, and her heels hammered into the barrier, shaking every bone in
her body.
Finger-like
cables grabbed her hands. She couldn’t see them. She felt them, tightening,
squeezing painfully around her wrists, snaking over her biceps, under her arms
and back over her shoulders.
Her
hands slapped together in front of her and the tentacles dragged her through
the water, towing her deeper and to the south, toward Monterey and the cliffs
of the southern edge of the underwater canyon.
Corina
folded her knees to create some drag, and tugged as hard as she could, fighting
the thing that held her. She bit into her regulator, screaming curses in big
wobbly bubbles that ripped past her face.
Her
breathing quickened into a saw-like roar in her ears, making her lightheaded.
The
water went black, her dive lights dancing off the rocks as her invisible captor
dragged her up against the canyon wall. She kicked wildly, and tried to hook
her fins on a passing ridge. She flew over the crenellated row of rock, gray in
the twilight like the broken wall of a haunted castle.
Watery
fingers wriggled over her body, tightening their grip, working their way down
her back, around her waist, spiraling her throat. She tucked her head down,
trying to stop it from choking her.
The
shadowy face of the cliff came at her fast, and she drew her legs toward a
meter-wide slice of pure black, a cave in the tall face of rock.
The
current freed her at the mouth, and tossed her inside. Corina bent her knees
and had her hands halfway up to her face when a thicket of woody-branched
gorgonians caught her. Stiff pink stems of coral scraped her arms, clawing at
her mask and hoses.
She kicked and clutched at the walls of the cave, tearing
off a mat of sea-sponge in her scramble to right herself.
Get
into open water.
She
twisted her body around and climbed clumsily toward the mouth, her fins
catching on the sea-growth on the floor, tiny flowers with mouths and questing
tentacles, rigid patches of needlework sponge. Snags of rock cut through her
gloves and her blood twisted in the water like smoke, clouding the dim light at
the cave mouth. She pushed through it, and shoved her head forward.
The
invisible current hit her, pushing her neck back. It tore her fingers from the
rocks, and threw her deeper into the cave. She kicked madly, clawing her way to
the entrance again. She ripped a big chunk of sponge off the wall, and shoved
it behind her.
Corina
froze.
She
forgot to breathe, and the whole ocean went silent. She turned to her left, her
eyes locked on the stretch of bare rock where she had torn off the sponge.
A
human handprint stood out on the flat stone face. It was like a blood painting
on the wall of some Paleolithic era cave.
Corina’s
mind raced, throwing thoughts in every direction. How? She choked on her
first conclusions. Questions sparked and went cold. Forty meters down. Never. This
cave’s never been above the waterline. Ice age? Sea level dropped hundreds of
feet. Okay, even if it ever had, the water would have washed away man’s
presence thousands of years ago. She started to shake her head, her
muscles just coming into sync with her thoughts. It’s paint or
blood on bare rock.
And
she wanted to touch it. Badly.
Paint
or blood in saltwater. Under a hundred-year-old growth of sea-sponge. Who—whose
hand?
She
forgot where she was, or how she had been dragged there. She stared at the
print. Long fingers, a wide palm, a man’s hand. The pigment blurred like
webbing between the fingers.
Her
eyes dropped in alarm to her own hand reaching up, fingers spreading to match
the one on the rock. A stringy haze of blood seeped from her glove, twirling in
the water like strips of black gauze.
She placed her right hand against the stone, over the
wound-red print. Her fingers flexed but didn’t reach the tips. She pressed her
palm hard against the unyielding stone.
A bolt
of heat rushed through her. Her arm and shoulder went numb. She sucked in air
in tight little drags, rabbit breaths, in-and-out gusts seesawing in her ears.
She
had...done something. The handprint was a lock of some kind. She was a key. She
couldn’t catch up to her thoughts to find out how she knew that. Her mind raced
with a flood of...someone else’s information.
She
arched her back, kicking violently, struggling to get away from it. The stone
cracked, and whatever was locked behind the handprint fired out of its prison
and into her body.
Corina
flew across the cave and slammed into the wall of sharp coral and rock.
Sobbing
in terror, her mouth opened and she spit out her regulator. Something moved
through her hair, against her neck...pain shot into her head like hot iron
coming through bone.
The
world buckled inside itself, narrowed down to the iridescent circle from her
shoulder light. It danced along the cave wall and her soul nearly followed it
out of her body; it remained anchored only by thin threads of sensation, the
sound of her chattering teeth and the hot seep of urine down her thighs.
The
motion of the world slowed to a crawl. Her legs glided up in front of her, and
a sizzling sound tickled her ears.
I
can’t move.
Her
eyes closed and she couldn’t open them again. She couldn’t lift her neck. She
screamed...inside her head. Nothing came from her mouth.
Some
primitive directive fired repeatedly, told her to close her mouth. Do not let the
ocean inside your mouth. Too late.
Her
regulator hovered over her, swaying up and back like an offended cobra. Even
without her eyes, she knew it was always in reach. She couldn’t lift her arms,
or curl her fingers.
She
sagged in the ocean’s embrace, unable to stir the smallest of muscles. She
tried to move her feet and wrinkle her nose. She tasted something sour, as if
someone had shoved her face in a bucket of rancid cabbage—but it wasn’t her
doing the tasting.
Then
she heard her own voice—someone else controlling it—using a thoroughly
disgusted tone. It snapped off a bunch of words in a language she didn’t
understand.
She
felt her lips move, her throat contracting, lungs struggling to make words, but
it was someone else making her mouth and throat say them. She heard bits of
words: “Lepto...” followed by “koost-ho...” She didn’t catch
the rest, but she heard the revulsion, a bottomless hatred in the tone.
Someone
using her voice said the word “Thalassa” several times. A
compound form then burst from her mouth, “Thalassogenêis.”
She
felt the words against the inside of her own throat, rumbling through her head,
and the last of her breath escaped her lungs, passing her lips in fat shaky
bubbles of air.
Her
body shuddered and curled into a knot, her arms wrapping her knees. She felt
her mouth move feverishly, more words she didn’t know, and without any sound.
Her lips opened expectantly and let the ocean inside. She tasted it, salty and
ice cold against her teeth. It punched into the back of her mouth, down her
throat and filled her empty lungs.
Her
mind halted in terror. It was like experiencing someone else’s drowning. A burn
like hot metal shot up her spine, sharp cramps gripped her stomach. Every
thought in her head disintegrated. Her mind went blank, dead, a bitter black
pool.